Dodging tough conversations doesn’t just keep the peace; it drains productivity, erodes trust, and costs organizations billions. Learn practical strategies to steer conflict toward constructive dialogue that fosters trust, efficiency, collaboration and greater innovation.
How much effort do you put into sidestepping tough conversations at work? Do you hesitate before calling out uncivil behavior directed at you? Maybe you ignore the eye-rolling during the monthly staff meeting. Or perhaps a teammate let the group down, and now the water-cooler conversations happen without them. If any of this sounds familiar, you may be practicing Conflict Avoidance—and it’s more costly than you think.
A 2023 Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) report found that nearly 57 percent of employees experience incivility at work. The ripple effect is enormous: hours wasted each week ruminating, venting, or working around problems instead of addressing them head-on. This wasted time is like a thief; stealing productivity, innovation, and collaboration. The financial toll? Billions of dollars lost annually across U.S. organizations.
The good news is you can change the story. By leaning into conflict instead of dodging it, you can reduce frustration, strengthen relationships, and protect your team’s effectiveness. Here are four practical strategies, adapted from a VitalSmarts research study that continues to be cited today:
- Clarify the Core Issue: Don’t just chase the most painful or immediate problem. Pause and ask: “What problem do I really want to resolve?” and “What do I want to make sure doesn’t happen again?”
- Manage Your Emotional Response: We often assume negative intent and spin stories that fuel frustration. Reframe the story: instead of “They’re undermining me,” try “They may be missing key information.” Speak only after you’ve calmed your emotions.
- Master Your Opening Remarks: Start with a clear, non-defensive intention. For example: “I’d like to ask about something you said earlier. It’s not my intention to upset you; I just want to understand your perspective.”
- Highlight the Impact Respectfully: Help others see the effect of their behavior in a constructive way. For instance: “I’m raising this because I think your words could erode confidence in our department’s ability to deliver services.”
Yes, addressing conflict can feel uncomfortable. But research shows that those who step up spend less time complaining, avoiding problems, or feeling defeated. The payoff is real: lower turnover, reduced absenteeism, stronger collaboration, and more innovation. In short, courage in conversation pays dividends; for you, your team, and the organization.
Resources to Learn More
- UAB L&D Programs:
- External Article: The Financial Cost of Workplace Conflict and Incivility in the US
- External Article: The Cost of Avoiding Conflict: A Case Study on Workplace Dysfunction and Resolution
Written by Tammy White
