November 21, 2000

STORY:

Some parents will do almost anything to give their child the latest hot toy of the moment. Some will stand in line for hours — even overnight — at stores. Other parents make multiple trips to fast food restaurants to purchase the latest toy offered with the children’s meal. “Neither fads nor parental efforts to attain fad toys is all bad,” said University of Alabama at Birmingham child psychologist Vivian Friedman, Ph.D., “The danger of following every fad lies in creating a child who thinks his happiness comes from getting objects.”

WHO:

Vivian Friedman, Ph.D., is a child and family psychologist at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. She has written a parenting column for The Birmingham News since 1988.

WHAT:

“When a child sees his parent go to extraordinary means to get something he wants, he can take it in at least two ways. The generally satisfied child, who has a parent who meets all of his needs, but only a few of his wants, will see his parent as making a great effort to please him. The child will feel loved and secure.

“The spoiled-but-insecure child will expect the parent to make an extraordinary effort to please him, but the child will think little of either the effort or the gift. He’ll assume that it’s his parent’s job to get what he wants and that he has a right to get what he demands. Parents know they’ve gone too far when the toy they stood in line for hours for is discarded or put in the closet or ignored one week after the child gets it.”

CALL:

For interviews, call Gail Short, UAB Media Relations, (205) 934-8931 or e-mail gshort@uab.edu.